Having got off on rather the wrong paw with my first agent, I puzzled what to do. I felt I owed it to an expectant public to cast my net a little wider. Accordingly I invested in a copy of The Writer’s and Puss Artist’s Yearbook and looked up Literary Agents and Publishers Desperate for New Clients. Having whittled these down to a little under two thousand, I spent a day pawstakingly drafting a query letter with a detailed biography and a revised synopsis. Next day I sent targeted emails to a shortlist of one hundred and sixty five lucky candidates. I took the utmost care to individually tailor each submission to the recipient; some I addressed Dear Sir, some Dear Miss or Mizz, some Dear Mrs and where appropriate, Dear Sir or Madam.  As you can see, my query letter treads a careful line between information and wit.

Dear To Whom It May Concern,

I am a black domesticated rescue cat with a taste for the finer things in life. For the avoidance of doubt I should make clear that I have been spayed.

I seek representation to promote my talents to the literary and film industries worldwide and you come highly recommended.

My first novel, a Cuddly Crime page-turner called “The Curious Case of The Whiskerless Mouse” explores a wide gamut of emotions from good to bad and, in a heartrending final paragraph, to very bad. Bristling with colourful characters, it is 507,003 words long and very, very gripping – think Watership Down without the rabbits. Miss Ann Throppy of Pillock and Bombast Literary Agency has described my work as, ‘breathtaking.’ Dog says that he has never read anything like it.

I am looking for a seven figure advance with a reputable publisher.

Although I am an outdoor cat, I do not drive or do public transport but would be available to meet at my abode at your convenience.

I look forward to hearing from you forthwith.

Kind Regards,


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